The Lobster

Fisherman, fisherman,
Home from the sea.
Have you a lobster,
You can sell to me?

Singing roll, tiddly-ol,
Roll, tiddly-ol, roll tiddly-ol,
Tiddly-ol, toll toll.

"Yes", said the fisherman,
"I’ve got two,
I’ve got a lobster,
I can sell to you".

Chorus

So I took the lobster home,
But I didn’t have a dish,
So I put it in the pot,
Where the old woman pissed.

Chorus

Well, all night long,
The old woman cried,
"There’s a lobster in the piss-pot,
And I can see his eyes".

Chorus

Early in the morning,
As you may know,
She hopped out of bed,
To let her water go.

Chorus

She gave a scream,
The lobster gave a grunt,
She ran around the room,
With a lobster up to here.

Chorus

I grabbed a poker,
The lodger grabbed a broom.
We chased that bleedin’ lobster,
Round and round the room.

Chorus

We bashed it on the head,
We bashed it on the side.
We bashed that bleedin’ lobster,
Until the bastard died.

Chorus

The moral of this story,
And this it surely is.
Always have a shufty,
Before you have a piss.

Chorus

(Alternative chorus, more likely to be sung by soldiers -

Singing ro-tiddley-o,
shit or bust,
Never let your bollocks,
Dangle in the dust!)

Return to Songbook

Return to Home Page

Updated 13 April, 1998